Are you someone who sees the glass half empty? Do you also think that the reason why the glass is half empty because someone took it from you?

I was that someone, honestly, I still am if I don’t stop and check myself. When things have gone wrong in my life, even if they were only minor, I would blame everyone around me for doing wrong by me.

The turning point for me?

Life was looking and feeling pretty crappy, and I couldn’t pull myself up, I honestly felt like I was drowning. I was wallowing in self-pity, and everything was going wrong. I honestly believed people were doing it on purpose to spite me. I knew something needed to change! I was searching everywhere to find answers to help me out of the hole which felt like its sides were continually crumbling.

Then one day I was home, just me and I tuned in on this podcast. I very rarely listen to podcasts but this one day I stumbled upon one that just made sense. What was being said resonated with me so much.

I’m new to blogging and still learning so please forgive me with not knowing how to link to the particular podcast. The podcast I was listening to that day was from The Mindset Mentor – Rob Dial. Have you ever listened to something or read something and there was just that one thing that stuck with you. What Rob said in his podcast that day stuck with me and really changed my mindset.

“It happened for me, not to me”

This one line really made me stop and think. Honestly I’m not even 100% sure if I am going to describe it correctly, but this is my takeaway.

When something happens in your life that isn’t what you wanted or planned, yes you get upset and honestly that shit hurts. But there comes a point when you reflect and instead of asking why me? why is this happening to me? I challenge you to flip it and challenge your thinking, change your mindset to something positive. Try thinking this is happening for me!

Example of how I have applied this

Back story first – I was in a Team Leader role at work as well the one who backfilled for the Assistant Director. When the Assistant Director left, I was the one who filled in. It was only supposed to be temporary until they found someone else. 10 months later and my mental health was taking a battering, so I made the decision to step down. But I was then passed over for my original Team Leader role. I was so cross and began to doubt my place at work. Was I not great at what I do? Maybe they just wanted me out all along? After weeks of living in my head I heard that podcast, and I applied this mindset thinking – this is happening for me. I had just stepped down from a leadership role. By not having this new role meant that I could take a step back and concentrate on my mental health and being more present at home. And because I wasn’t feeling so negative, I was actually able to have a conversation with my director about how I was feeling. Something I wouldn’t have done if I was still angry and wallowing in self-pity.

I still have a long way to go with looking at the brighter side of life, and not thinking so negatively all the time. It really is just one day at a time.

You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf – Jon Kabut-Zinn

Maggie x

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